Monday, June 12, 2006

How people are like dogs and cats

What is so different about dogs and cats? Dogs are usually genuine, lovable, trusting, and loyal. Cat's are likely to be self-interested, coy, curious, a bit arrogant, haughty, and concerned about themselves.

What can we learn from dogs and cats that can help us understand different ways of looking at life?

There are many people that have the same type of dispositions as dogs. They're genuine. If they love you, they'll show you. If you scare them, they'll bark at you. Dogs love life and they love others, and they show that. That's wonderful, but it opens them up to a huge disadvantage: others will use the genuineness that dogs have against them. They will control them through their weakness, their weakness being that they trust others. Because dogs can't imagine that someone would use genuineness against them, they don't ever question it.

People can be very similar to dogs. They are genuine with their feelings; they're open and honest, and they want to help. They trust others, and they trust that others will have the same way of looking at life; that's what makes them so lovable, because they see the world that way and they can't help treat others with the same type of love.

Are there people that have the same dispositions as cats?

Yes. There are people that use the same type of feelings as dogs, love, loyalty, trust and genuineness, but they manipulate these feelings to make others look towards them. Like cats, these people don't actually care about others, they simply want to use them as a way to get attention and have control over them.

These types of people will use emotions to control you. They use fear, guilt, shame, love, and your self-worth against you to make you do what they want you to do. They live in an emotional reality, where emotions rule the way they make decisions, look at life, and how they communicate with others.

Dogs live on the surface; they're not concerned about using people, so they would never suspect others to use them. Cat's live below the surface; they use the same types of words and emotions that genuine animals use, but they use these emotions to make others do what they want. What do they want? Control. Why? Because when you live in an emotional world like they do, they don't have anything to hold onto. On the inside, they are lost in a storm of emotion, and so to get control on the inside, they will try and control others on the outside so they feel like they have some control. But it doesn't work. Why not? Because they are trying to solve an internal problem externally. They never get to the source, and so they can never solve the problem.

Are there people out there that manipulate the good, the love, and the trust that others have to gain control?

If you do not realize this, then you are in danger. You are in danger of being controlled by people who want control. They will use the same words you use, they will talk the same way, they will say the same phrases, but they do not live on the surface, they are only using these things to get you to do what they want.

How can I tell if the person is like a cat or a dog?

If the person genuinely loves you, they will never want to control you. They will never want to make your decisions. They don't care about decisions, they care about love and trust.

If the person is trying to control you, they will have you look to them when you make your decisions. Your world will be preoccupied with them, you'll think about how they are feeling and if you have hurt them, and they will use all of these emotions to make your world revolve around them.

Women do this very well. Not all woman, but many woman. They will give the man a little bit of love, but they will end up telling the man what to do in all of his decisions. The man will not be able to make any decision without his wife's consent, and the woman will be over the man, telling him what is ok and what is not ok to do.

The church is the same way. The church is much like a manipulative woman; it follows the same pattern of control. They use words like truth, love, and god in order to bring you in. And then, they will start to take away your decisions. Your life will start to revolve around the church. You will start to ask your bishop about major life questions, even though it is your life and he will never fully understand the particulars in your life. You will start to ask God if each decision you make is what he wants you to do, much like an emotional abusive woman would have her husband act. The husband will look to the wife in every decision. Never trusting himself, always giving away his decisions to his wife.

The church will say that they are about truth and light, but they only ever talk about what the leaders say. They only read conference talks about the latest words from the leaders, they quote previous leaders and their opinions about life, and they will have you memorize the leaders words. They don't have storehouses of truth from toasim, buddhism, science, literature, history, etc., in fact, these things really don't matter to them, all they want you to focus on is what the leader says and how to obey the leader. Like a cat, they will use the words of truth and light, but they never seem to go beyond their own words.

Another way they will try to control you is to hurt you emotionally. They will call you names or find a tiny piece of your words they can use to control you. They don't really care about what you say or what you're trying to say, they just want to control, so they find something obscure and meaningless to get you to look towards them. Because you are genuine, you think they are being genuine too, and perhaps there is something to what they are saying, but your are mistaken. They are not looking for understanding, they are looking for control. They don't ask questions, they tell you where you are wrong.

They will also get emotional to try and control you. For instance, they will cry and cry in order to get you to look at them and ask what is wrong. They won't ever tell you, or they will say they don't know, because if they did tell you, you might have a chance of fixing the situation, and they would never want that, because then they would lose their control they've gained over you.

Why are church leaders so emotional? Why do they cry almost every time they give a talk? Is is normal for a grown man to cry? Some leaders are genuine, but when you live in that emotional reality, and you are genuine, it becomes very difficult to tell who is genuine and who is not. The only way is to look at what they are saying. Are they trying to get you to look to them to understand your own life? Are they trying to get you to consult them and their god before you make a decision? If so, you must be careful.

How do you stop from being controlled by them?

The answer is pretty simple. Start living your own life. Start making your decisions for yourself because you want to make them. Do not consult them when you are trying to make a decision. Even if you make a mistake, that is ok. You will learn from your mistakes, and you will not make it the next time. Life is about learning from our mistakes and then getting better. But you'll never be on that road to independence as long as you are always looking back to someone else to help you make your decisions.

When you stop caring about what the controlling person wants, then you will be able to move on with your life. They will scream and yell, they will tell you you are going to hell, or that god will be angry with you, but don't listen to them. God wants you to be you. He wants you to develop and grow in your own life in your own way. You are a unique flower that can only bloom when you believe in yourself enough to open your petals to the sunshine. Don't let them hide the beauty and life that is inside of you. Don't let them stop you from blooming. Life is an adventure, and making your own decisions is the first step.


Blogger robot said...

Beautiful. Thanks for taking the time to write this.

11:08 PM  
Blogger Jason King said...

ruff, ruff :-)

It was fun. It took me about 20 minutes to write, so I'm not sure if it's all making sense, but at least it's a start.

It's so funny to think of the church as a nagging, emotionally abusive wife. Jason, have you done your home teaching today?! You should really consult me before you make any decisions about life; go talk to your bishop about it. And all that jazz.

11:20 PM  
Blogger robot said...

Yeah, it's much easier to see this type of pattern of emotional control for men, women, and the church, now that you mention it in this way.

Is there a short list of things that you would write that shows if someone is emotionally controlling you?

What about a short list on how to not be controlled?

11:34 PM  
Blogger Jason King said...

"Is there a short list of things that you would write that shows if someone is emotionally controlling you?"

Great idea. I'll work on both of those. I know that it's all the same pattern, so there should be a pattern to follow which frees you from their control, too.

"What about a short list on how to not be controlled?"

I think the first big step is just to realize that there are people out their that want to control, and that they use the same words and emotions, but they are after very different ends.

A short list would be great. I'll try and think of a few things that should be dead give aways that the person is simply trying to manipulate you and the situtation.

11:39 PM  
Blogger robot said...

Let's sit down and have a little chat.

You see, there is a word, which I know has no meaning whatsoever to you, called respect. I respect what Jason represents. I enjoy listening to what he has to say - can you believe that? I actually do. In fact, I'd go so far as to say I try to encourage him to write what he thinks, because some of the stuff he has to say is down right important. Isn't that odd, loyd? Isn't that so different to actually want to know what someone else thinks, besides yourself? Not to use them, or look for faults to constantly correct them, to make them look at you.

This is loyd: No no no. Wrong wrong wrong. Me me me. You forgot to put an ‘I’ in ensign. YOU FORGOT TO DO THAT!!!! CAN YOU BELIEVE YOU FORGOT TO DO THAT!!!!! I CANT BELIEVE YOU FORGOT TO PUT AN “I” IN ENSIGN. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHAT ENSIGN MEANS WITHOUT THE “I”?!!! okay. okay. just go look at my blog, what I wrote, and you’ll be fine. yes. just go look at me. isn’t that better?

You ugly monkey.

1:30 AM  
Blogger Jason King said...

"wow. your site is getting better and better with each post."

I've already told you how I feel about manipulation. This very comment that you write is covered in it. You have nothing to add, you ask no genuine questions, you only want to focus on the emotionality of your reality. I don't want anything to do with emotional manipulators like you.

If Robot wants to talk with you, that's up to him, but unless you have some genuine questions, do not address me.

"are you and robot the same person?"

Why do you even care? What has this to do with you? Nothing.

You keep trying to control externally, but it will never work. It's an illusion you're after. Perhaps a few more books and a few more controlling conversations and you will finally find what you are after, right? It won't ever stop this way, Loyd. You will never find it.

1:51 AM  
Blogger robot said...

There are things bigger than you. Ideas more beautiful to understand. There is so much life to enjoy. Goodbye, loyd.

12:12 PM  
Blogger Jason King said...

"ok. so this site is a joke. i actually thought jason was serious about these things...phew... jokes on me. you got me."

Why are you here? What have you to do with this site? If this site is so wrong, why do you even care?

"dear jason, i left honest questions and criticisms long ago"

Some were honest, and those are the ones that I published. But you just can't help yourself. You simply view every discussion as a means to gain control, just like this comment.

You don't want to understand, you want to play a game with it. It becomes a competition for you to see how smart you can be. But this is not a game. It does not matter wether or not I'm absoultely right or wrong. It's the process. It's the discovery that's interesting.

You only want to understand in order to control. I understand who you are and what you want, and for the fourth time, I want nothing to do with you.

"you want your alter-ego robot to finger your anus and tell you how beautiful you are."

Keep feeding your hate, Loyd. Keep feeding your pain. Do you think that peace will ever come from pain? It won't ever happen. You are looking in the wrong direction, and your pain will only bring forth more in your life. You, like your comments are toxic, and your comments will no longer be posted on this site.

Best of luck with your life.

2:06 PM  
Blogger Jason King said...

"I think the problem in the church is that there are actually too few people who factor God into their decisions, rather than too many."

Aren't you commanded to have every thought be about christ? To look to God in all things? How can you have not enough god when you are commanded to have every thought be about God?

"I don't think it's humanly possible to "give away all your decisions"

It's possible that we could both go through the exact same church and have very different experiences. So if you think another way than I do about your church experience, that is fine by me.

But what about lds missions? How many times did you say "not this time, president?"

Of course there is a spectrum in all of this decision making. In the mission, I'd say you do give away nearly every decision, but it's simply not possible to give away every decision after the mission.

The issue I'm really trying to look at is the whole system. The fact that you should have to consult and give away your decisions to another person when you are a grown man is inherently flawed. To what extent you give away your decisions is not as important as the system itself. For you to think that giving your decisions away at all as a good thing, a godly thing, is inherently wrong from the start.

10:42 PM  

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